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IMMUTABLE LAWS


 
1. Law  of Mechanical Repair 
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law  of Gravity 
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3. Law  of Probability  
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law  of Random Numbers 
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation  Law  
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.


 

6. Law  of the Bath  
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
 
7. Law  of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Law  of the Result 
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
 
9. Law  of Biomechanics 
 
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
 

10. Law  of the Theaters & Sports Arenas At any event, the people whose seats are furthest  from the aisle, always arrive last.. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move  once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
 
11. The  Coffee Law 
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Murphy's  Law of Lockers 
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 


13.
 Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
 
14. Law  of Logical Argument 
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law  of Physical Appearance 
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
 
16. Law  of Public Speaking 
-- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17. Law  of Commercial Marketing Strategy- 
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18. Doctors'  Law 
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.